Random Strip Search Funny Hot Lady No Bra Airport Security Humor
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Bad jokes that are really pretty good
Ah, bad jokes. They're little guilty pleasures we indulge in with giddy enthusiasm every chance we go. They brand united states of america groan, say "Are you serious?", and, of course, brand united states of america chuckle. Bad jokes can be curt, corny, punny, and deliver some of the best one-liners ever. What's not to dear?
If you're a sucker for a proficient bad joke, you're in luck. Below, you'll notice a listing of our funniest jokes that merely so happen to pack groan-worthy punchlines. Enjoy!
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Knock knock.
Who'south there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting c–
MOO!
We had to start off this collection of bad jokes with one of the oldest knock-knock jokes in the book.
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What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
Dam.
Sometimes the best bad jokes are the shortest. Check out these brusk jokes for kids anyone can memorize.
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What do you lot get when you combine a rhetorical question and a joke?
…
Go information technology? Bad jokes don't even need a punch line to be funny! Check out the funniest jokes on the cyberspace.
9 / 177
Did y'all hear about the Italian chef who died?
He pasta-way. These hilarious brute cartoons prove that animals are funnier than humans.
10 / 177
Two muffins were sitting in an oven.
I turned to the other and said, "Wow, it'south pretty hot in here." The other one shouted, "Wow, a talking muffin!" For more laughs, check out these travel cartoons that detect the funny in everything.
11 / 177
I sold my vacuum the other twenty-four hours.
All it was doing was collecting dust. If this 1 has y'all smirking, these dad jokes will really give you a chuckle.
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What is Forrest Gump's email password?
1forrest1.
thirteen / 177
Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?
He won the "no-bell" prize.
xiv / 177
Did you hear about the burn down in the shoe factory?
10,000 soles were lost. The police said some heels started information technology.
15 / 177
What's the deviation betwixt a rabbit and a plum?
They're both majestic except for the rabbit. This joke fabricated exist bad, just these other "what's the difference between" jokes are hilarious!
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Two windmills are continuing on a wind farm.
One asks, "What'southward your favorite type of music?" The other says, "I'g a large metallic fan." Here are some funny one-liners that are sure to get some laughs.
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I like elephants.
Everything else is irrelephant. Read more than elephant jokes that are a ton of laughs!
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What's red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.
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Ii guys walk into a bar.
The third guy ducks.
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What do you lot call a simulated noodle?
An impasta. If you idea this was funny, you'll love these other hilarious what do y'all call jokes.
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Did you hear the story about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed some space.
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What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An in-vest-igator.
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What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
Reality. Thought that was expert? Yous'll love these tea puns!
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A human and a giraffe walk into a bar.
Later on a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The homo begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.
"Hey, you can't leave that lyin' at that place!" The bartender yells out.
The homo turns around: "It'southward not a lion. Information technology'south a giraffe."
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The wedding was so beautiful.
Even the block was in tiers.
28 / 177
Why don't dinosaurs talk?
Because they're dead. Don't forget to check out these dinosaur jokes for more laughs!
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A dyslexic human walks into a bra.
Go information technology?
30 / 177
What exercise you call a fly with no wings?
A walk.
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What did the Buddhist say to the hot domestic dog vendor?
Brand me one with everything.
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What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the cupboard?
"Supplies!"
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It's inappropriate to brand a "dad joke" if you are non a dad.
It's a faux pa.
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What did the buffalo say when his son left?
Bison!
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My new thesaurus is terrible.
Not simply that, just information technology's too terrible.
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What exercise yous telephone call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool?
Bob.
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What do you lot call a psychic footling person who has escaped from prison?
A modest medium at large.
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What's the most terrifying give-and-take in nuclear physics?
"Oops!" If biology is more your matter, check out these biology jokes that really cell themselves.
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Three fish are in a tank.
1 asks the others, "How do y'all drive this matter?"
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What's the dumbest beast in the jungle?
A polar bear.
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What do you lot call a man who tin can't stand?
Neil.
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I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey…
… just then I turned myself effectually.
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I don't trust stairs.
They're e'er up to something.
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Wife: "How do I expect?"
Husband: "With your eyes."
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What's the best role near living in Switzerland?
I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
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Have you lot heard the rumor about butter?
Never heed, I shouldn't be spreading it.
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I submitted 10 puns to a joke-writing competition to see if whatever of them fabricated the finals.
Sadly, no pun in ten did.
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RIP, boiled h2o.
You lot will be mist .
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What do you call a Frenchman in sandals?
Phillipe Floppe .
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eBay is then useless.
I tried to expect up lighters and all they had was xiii,749 matches.
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Wanna hear two brusk jokes and a long joke?
Joke, joke, jooooooooooooooke . We can all relate to these funny working from home cartoons right at present.
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I made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem.
I telephone call it my trail mix.
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What do you do if y'all run across a fireman?
Put it out, man!
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That's a pretty good ceiling.
It's not the best, simply it'due south upwardly there!
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I wrote a song about a tortilla.
Really, it's more of a wrap.
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Did you hear almost the kidnapping at school?
Information technology's ok, he woke upwards.
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What's the difference betwixt a hippo and a Zippo?
One is really heavy, and the other is a footling lighter.
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Why practice you never see pigs hiding in copse?
Because they're pretty good at information technology.
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You desire to go downwardly to the bar to hear that ring chosen Duvet?
They're a cover ring.
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What practise you call a crocodile that is likewise a detective?
An investi -gator.
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The just thing flat earthers have to fright. ..
…is sphere itself.
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Name one fragrance commercial that has ever fabricated sense.
What are you talking almost, they all make scents!
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Where did Noah keep his bees?
In the Ark Hives.
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What genre are national anthems?
Country.
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I detest Russian dolls.
They're so total of themselves.
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A human walks into a pet store and asks for a dozen bees. The clerk carefully counts 13 bees out onto the counter.
"That's ane too many!" says the customer. The clerk replies "It'southward a freebie."
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I can cut a piece of wood in half but past looking at it.
You lot might non believe me, but I saw information technology with my ain eyes.
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Did you lot adopt your dog?
No, he's my biological dog. Check out these other dog jokes that are pawsitively hilarious.
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I bought the newlyweds an elephant for their room.
They said, "Cheers." I said, "Don't mention information technology."
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A limbo champ walks into a bar.
He loses.
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When the moon hits your knees, and you mispronounce trees
Sycamore
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How do you brand holy h2o?
You boil the hell out of it.
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What did the frustrated true cat say?
Are you kitten me right meow? Cat hiss ridiculous.
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When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent.
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The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat World Society.
They fear that social distancing measures could push button people over the edge. I bet they are excited almost flattening the curve, though.
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I got fired from my task at the banking company today.
An old lady asked me to check her residual, then I pushed her over.
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My married woman just completed a 40 -week body building program this morning.
It'due south a girl and weighs 7 pounds, 12 ounces. Not to throw more numbers at you, but we take 50 jokes here for all 50 states.
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Why are there so many different kinds of pasta?
If I had a penne for every time I asked myself this question.
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What did The Stone say when the waiter offered him a box for his leftovers?
I'm non much of a boxer, just I'll wrestle you for information technology.
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Where do you take someone who's been injured in a peek – a-boo accident?
To the I.C.U.
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Nurse: Claret type?
Dad: Red. Past the manner, y'all'll love these nurse jokes that are RN-believably funny.
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A person is walking downward the street and hears a bunch of people in a fenced-in thousand shouting, "nineteen ! nineteen! 19! 19!" Curious, he walks over and looks through a hole in the fence.
S omeone from the other side pokes him in the eye and they all outset shouting, "20! 20! twenty!" Here are the best jokes from A-Z!
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I went to a wedding where ii satellite dishes got married.
The ceremony wasn't great, merely the reception was amazing.
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What do you phone call a wizard who lost their magic?
Ian.
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Why tin can't you lot explicate puns to kleptomaniacs?
They always take things literally.
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What practise y'all telephone call a blind dinosaur?
A do-you-think-he-saurus.
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I had a scrap implanted in my torso.
Information technology was a Cool Ranch Dorito. Yum!
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Why is Peter Pan always flying?
He neverlands . We love this joke considering it never grows old.
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To impale a French vampire, you demand to bulldoze a baguette through its heart.
Sounds easy but the process is painstaking.
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What do we want? Depression-flying aeroplane noises! When do we want them?
NNNNNEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW!
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A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Wow, I've never seen a weasel before. What tin can I go you?"
"Pop," goes the weasel.
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Today I gave my expressionless batteries away.
They were complimentary of charge.
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Why do ghosts dear elevators?
It lifts their spirits.
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Five guys walk into a bar.
Yous call up one of them would've seen it.
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Who are caterpillars' biggest enemies?
Dogerpillars.
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Why practice y'all tell actors to pause a leg?
Every play has a cast.
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What do y'all call an empty can of Cheese Whiz?
Cheese Was.
109 / 177
Someone stole my mood band.
I don't know how I experience almost that.
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What kind of dogs beloved car racing?
Lap dogs.
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My favorite word is "drool."
It just rolls off the tongue.
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I just wrote a book on reverse psychology.
Do not read information technology.
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What do you call birds who stick together?
Vel-crows.
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I was sitting in traffic the other day.
Probably why I got run over.
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Where practise spaghetti and sauce become to dance?
The meatball.
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What do you become from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk. If you idea this was funny, you'll love our other moo-cow jokes!
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This library has two stories.
Can inappreciably call information technology a library.
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I like to spend every solar day equally if it's my concluding.
Staying in bed and calling for a nurse to bring me more than pudding.
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How does your feline shop?
By reading a itemize.
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What exercise y'all call a factory that sells passable products?
Satisfactory.
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What practice you lot call a dangerous dominicus shower?
A rain of terror.
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What do you telephone call a subcontract that makes bad jokes?
Corny.
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What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind when it hits a windshield?
Its butt. Oop! Try these political jokes on for size at your next family vacation—they're guaranteed to become you a express joy.
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What happens when a frog's machine breaks down?
It gets toad.
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I went on a once-in-a-lifetime vacation.
Never again.
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Parallel lines have then much in common.
It's a shame they'll never run across.
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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the automobile?
"Robin, go far the car."
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I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster.
If anything, it made him more sluggish.
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My friend gave me his Epi–Pen as he was dying.
It seemed very important to him that I have information technology. Read these best friend tweets for more than laughs.
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Have you heard of Spud's Law? Ok, merely accept yous heard of Cole's Law?
It'southward thinly-sliced cabbage.
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Did yous know Jesus drove a Honda but merely didn't talk almost it?
John 12:49: "For I did not speak of my own accord."
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How do you lot talk to Italian ghosts?
With a Luigi board.
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Fourth dimension flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies similar a banana. Don't forget to bookmark these fruit puns that are berry funny!
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Two cows are grazing in a field. I says to the other, "You ever worry about that mad cow illness?"
The other cow says, "Why would I intendance? I'k a helicopter."
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What's E.T. curt for?
He's but got fiddling legs. Science lovers will science-dearest these physics jokes!
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Two men run across on opposites sides of a river. I shouts to the other "I demand y'all to help me to become to the other side!"
The other guy shouts, "Yous are on the other side!"
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What'southward orangish and sounds similar a parrot?
A carrot.
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What came commencement, the chicken or the egg?
Safety. Safety ever comes get-go. In the case of these hilarious egg puns, the egg e'er comes first.
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This is your captain speaking.
AND THIS IS YOUR Captain SHOUTING.
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Coroner died.
Even so went to work. If y'all thought that was funny, you'll honey these piece of work from domicile jokes.
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Which rock grouping has four guys who can't sing or play instruments?
Mount Rushmore.
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I bought a domestic dog from a locksmith.
The 2nd I got him in the firm he made a bolt for the door.
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What'southward the difference betwixt ignorance and aloofness?
I don't know and I don't care.
152 / 177
My girlfriend broke up with me because I quote Linkin Park too much.
But in the end, it doesn't even matter.
153 / 177
What do you phone call bears with no ears?
B.
154 / 177
What'south a foot long and glace?
A slipper.
155 / 177
What did the swordfish say to the marlin?
You're lookin' sharp.
156 / 177
What kind of ghost has the best hearing?
The eeriest. If yous laugh at these nighttime jokes, you're probably a genius.
157 / 177
Where can you lot purchase soup in bulk?
The stock marketplace.
158 / 177
How do yous stop a bull from charging?
Cancel its credit menu.
159 / 177
What was the frog's job at the hotel?
Bellhop.
160 / 177
Why are the Irish and so wealthy?
Their capital is Dublin.
162 / 177
What kind of shoes do robbers wear?
Sneakers.
163 / 177
Why did the invisible human turn down the job offering?
He couldn't run across himself doing it.
164 / 177
Why are frogs so happy?
They swallow whatever bugs them.
165 / 177
What practice you call banana skin shoes?
Slippers.
166 / 177
Did you hear virtually the cheese factory that exploded in French republic?
In that location was nothing left but de Brie. Cheese is archetype joke fodder. Hither are 17 classic light bulb jokes that'll make you sound smart.
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Why were they called the Dark Ages?
There were lots of knights. If you have more of a twisted sense of humor, these dark jokes are for you.
168 / 177
My boss just texted me,
"Send me one of your funny jokes!"
169 / 177
Desire to hear a roof joke?
This one's on the house.
170 / 177
What kind of pants does Mario wearable?
Denim, denim, denim.
171 / 177
Where does the general proceed his armies?
In his sleevies. This joke is very cuties. Hither are ix secrets to telling a great joke, according to comedians.
172 / 177
How does the squid go into battle?
Well-armed.
173 / 177
I broke my finger concluding week.
On the other hand, I'yard ok.
174 / 177
Do you use your right hand to stir your coffee?
I use a spoon. Bank check out these relatable tweets for more laughs.
175 / 177
You're not completely useless.
You can ever serve as a bad example. By the way, we're serving up these ice cream puns just for you lot—bank check them out!
176 / 177
What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh accept in common?
Same heart proper noun. Here are 15 simple (and silly) Apr Fool's jokes to play on your kids.
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What practise y'all call someone with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
Sources:
- Buzzfeed, "21 Make clean Jokes That Are So Impaired They're Really Funny"
- Buzzfeed, "21 Dad Jokes So Ridiculous, I'm Almost Mad At Myself For Laughing"
- Buzzfeed, "eighteen Punny Jokes That Have No Right To Be As Hilarious As They Are"
- Buzzfeed, "100 Dad Jokes Yous're Going To Hate Laughing At So Hard"
- Buzzfeed, "If You're Tired Of The Same One-time Dad Jokes, Hither Are xix Very Funny New Ones"
- Buzzfeed, "23 Dad Jokes That Are So Bad They're Adept"
- Buzzfeed, "Sorry, Just There's No Way Yous Won't At Least Smile At Any Of These Dad Jokes"
- Buzzfeed, "25 Jokes And Puns From National Tell A Joke Day That Might Make You Curlicue Your Eyes"
- Buzzfeed, "xiii Absolutely Hilarious Jokes Told In Movies"
- Buzzfeed, "Every Weird And Awkward Person Volition Notice These 17 Tweets Hilarious For No Detail Reason"
- Buzzfeed, "Reddit Is Sharing Their All-time Jokes, Here Are 17 Really Funny Ones"
- Buzzfeed, "17 Dad Jokes That Made Me Groan, Curlicue My Eyes, Then Echo To My Friends"
- Buzzfeed, "eighteen Jokes That Will Make You Express joy Even If You lot're Having A Bad Day"
- Buzzfeed, "27 Clean Jokes To Tell Your Kids That Are Actually Funny"
- Buzzfeed, "19 Twitter Jokes That Are Just Very, Very Funny"
- Buzzfeed, "We All Love Dad Jokes — But How Many Of The Punchlines Exercise Yous Actually Know?"
- All-time Life, "150 Jokes That Are So Bad They're Actually Funny"
- Bored Panda, "52 Of The Funniest Ii-Line Jokes E'er"
- Reddit, "What'south a short, clean joke that gets a laugh every time?"
- Best Life, "40 Hilarious Jokes No One Is Too Old to Laugh At"
- Parade, "Ha Ha Ha—101 Corny Jokes That Are So Bad They're Actually Funny Practiced"
- Fatherly, "55 Great Clean Jokes for Funny People Who Don't Swear"
Originally Published: Jan 19, 2022
Source: https://www.rd.com/list/bad-jokes-cant-help-laugh-at/
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